The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
