Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Randomize
