I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
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It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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