Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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