He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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