k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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