just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Is Oprah even human
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
