he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
