Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
