I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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