I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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