I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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