hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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