I puked a lego.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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