May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
