the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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