You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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