The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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