Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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