literally had 100 drinks last night.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
