i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My liver is preforming stress tests.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
