I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
