i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
