my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
