So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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