I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
