marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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