Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
