She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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