Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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