despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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