you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
