I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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