yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
