And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
