the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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