Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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