So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
