I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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