Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
