So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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