Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
