He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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