dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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