dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
