he looks like a really good dad on facebook
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
