so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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