Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
