Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
