she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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