I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
