I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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