i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
