Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize