Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
